Thank Heaven for little girls

Through everything, I can't help but thank God every day for the blessings of my daughters. Even though I am concerned about what the future holds for them, I am still glad that I get to snuggle with them every day. They are both still very young but also growing up very fast. My littlest one will be 20 months old this week; only four short months away from turning 2. Life hasn't been easy since she joined our family, but I also can't imagine our family without her. Her personality has really blossomed in the last six months, and she makes me smile all the time. She is a little fussier than the oldest daughter, so we have challenging times with her. But she's my little "dolly", which is the nickname I use with her.

My oldest daughter is 3 1/2, and this time next year, we are planning send her to preschool. She is a smart little bugger and is as beautiful as she is smart. We're having some challenging times with her lately, but she still makes me laugh (hard) every day. Some of the things that come out of her mouth just amaze me. She has a wonderful imagination, and I always enjoy her creations and stories.

The thing that makes me sad is realizing that this will be the last year she & I get to spend together...all day long, in no rush, just enjoying each other. Granted preschool is only a few hours a day, but I will miss her immensely...especially because all day kindergarten follows after that. Then she will be in the care of someone else (during waking hours) longer than she is with me. That's going to be really hard for me - not because I think I'm the only one capable of caring for her, but because I will miss her a lot.

The only thing that makes me sadder is the thought that I may miss out on this last year before her schooling begins. I would miss it only because hubby cannot find a suitable job, which means I would have to return to work. That hurts my heart more than I can possibly describe..and for many different reasons.

But tonight I am not allowing myself to dwell on that sadness because if I do, I will just fall back into old patterns tomorrow...not changing anything that needs to be changed because I'm paralyzed by regret and frustration. I've allowed myself to dwell on negative emotions far too long, and I will be relying this week on God's strength and peace to free myself from the prison I am creating for myself. Lord only knows how much longer I will be able to stay at home with my girls, so why waste that time dwelling on the negative and wasting time.

Thank Heaven for these little girls! Because of them, I have sufficient motivation to better myself...and in the end better them. Our kids need to realize that life isn't always sunshine and roses, and they will learn how to handle hard times by watching their parents. So far, I haven't been the picture of perfection as far as reflecting the peace & comfort that God gives to me on a daily basis. Tonight, I'm praying with all my heart & soul that through this situation I can change that. I want my girls to be strong inside & out, but that starts with my example.

Question: When you encounter tough times, do you ever wonder how your children will be affected? Do you want to be a source of strength & comfort to ease their worries? Do you also want to teach them how to be a source of strength & comfort to their future children? Do you believe that actions are stronger than words?