To Homeschool or Not To Homeschool...

...that is THE question around our house as Ray is old enough for preschool. Should we or shouldn't we? One might think that the standard schooling versus home schooling debate would be similar to the working mom versus stay-at-home mom debate, but it is really quite different. For all the negative and encouraging comments I received when I decided to be a SAHM, I'm expecting a whole new slew of comments if we decide to homeschool our children. In truth, I'm not expecting a lot of encouraging comments, and that is really quite sad.

We enjoy a lot of freedoms in this country, and one of those freedoms is deciding how to educate our children. Usually that choice is between public or private education, but many often forget (or don't want to think about) the third option, which is home education. I don't have nearly enough time here to convince everyone (or anyone) that homeschooling is a viable option...nor do I want to try. Whatever your opinion, I will tell you that, in our family, it most definitely is a consideration.

-- Insert the collective groans, gasps and giggles here --

Whatever your opinion, let me say that unless you've done your homework, you probably don't really understand how homeschooling works or how well it works, and you probably have a lot of incorrect assumptions. I am privileged to know a number of homeschooling families and am the benefactor of their experiences. This is not a decision hubby & I take lightly. There are lots of things to consider. And I'm not interested in convincing others that homeschooling is the only way to go. I'm simply sharing why it's a consideration for our family.

First, private schools are out. I grew up (all 12 years) in private schools, and the education I received was priceless. I would most definitely consider it if not for two problems. Tuition is downright ridiculous; hubby and I would both have to work full-time. God has blessed us by allowing me to be at home w/my girls now, and we do not wish to change that picture in the near future. We would also spend a small fortune on transportation as the private schools in our area are not nearby.

Second, our public schools are disintegrating. Whether or not you agree w/my logic, you have to agree that public schools are headed downhill at an alarming rate. For all the so-called efforts made by politicians and administrators...and for all the taxes they constantly take from us...our school system is in disrepair. Our kids are not getting what they need, and the schools have become a haven of agenda-pushing and cookie-cutter learning styles.

Yes, there are certainly exceptions. Our school district is one of them...at least from what we hear. Over the last year, we've heard numerous compliments about our district, and that gives us tremendous peace. Knowing our school system is good is like music to our ears; it makes our decision making process easier. That isn't true of all schools in our general area though. I feel very fortunate to live where we do as we weigh the pros and cons of education options.

It all comes down to this. What is best for your child? Of those three options, which one would give your child the power to learn and continue to learn...continue to be successful in as an adult? Because no matter what I think about how others educate their children, and no matter what you think of how we educate ours, what matters is that we do what's best for our kids. Your definition of "best" and mine may differ, but isn't that what makes this country great? We have options!

Do I think I can educate better than our local school system? I don't have an answer to that yet. If I did, then I wouldn't be on the fence about homeschooling the girls. Hubby & I have had a very hard year with our oldest, and at this moment in time, we think a few hours a day at the public preschool will be good for her. The problems we face with her are correctable though, which means this fall we may decide not to send her. It's all about evaluating your child's needs and your educational goals and then deciding the best path to get from point A to point B. We are on that journey now.

I'm constantly asked about the "socialization" factor. Good grief, have our schools been reduced to nothing but a social experiment? Because that's what it feels like when someone asks me about socialization. Schools are supposed to be for learning, folks...not socializing. So many people are worried about homeschoolers not being able to socialize with their peers, and I have to ask...do we really want our kids to socialize only with their peers because that's exactly what happens in public/private schools. Homeschooled children socialize with all ethnicities, ages and personalities. They are able to socialize with everyone. Isn't that better?

Even though I haven't been asked, I know people wonder why we would want to shelter our children by homeschooling them. And I can't help but wonder...how do I want my children to be prepared for "the real world"? Do I want to expose them to it in my way, with my values, in my timing? Or do I want the school system to do it for me? Because let's be honest. Even with a lot of family time, children in public/private schools are spending way more time in school or with their school friends/influences than with their family. If your child is being taught a certain way and under a certain influence for several hours a day, how much impact will you really have on your kids? Won't the majority of your time be spent combating what they learn at school? And at what point do you get beyond that point and make progress when all you have is a few hours a day and some extra time on the weekends?

Because hubby & I are Christians, I've also heard (from other Christians), "We are to be salt and light in our community". In other words, we are to be in the world to make a difference for God's kingdom, and we can't do that when we're "hiding" from the world. This applies to our children as well. I couldn't agree more. I want my kids to make a difference. I want my kids to have the opportunity to defend what they believe and influence others. I don't agree, however, that young children are prepared to do that. As a child grows, matures and thinks for him/herself, they most definitely have the power to impact and influence their friends and teachers. But when a kindergartner starts school, I don't believe they are fully prepared to be an influence of that magnitude. Furthermore, I think some Christian parents give lip service to that concept. They use it to defend their educational choices (with a Christian homeschooler), but they don't actually reinforce the idea with their children. They don't actually teach their children to be influential instead of influenced. Yes, there are many wonderful Christian parents who have very influential kids in public/private schools. I know many of them, and I am in awe. I can only hope that if we do become public school parents that we can model their example so that our girls can influence their friends & teachers.

Let me be clear. I do not judge anyone who educates their children in the public or private schools - not in the least. I think arguments can be made for and against all three educational options. Homeschooling is not for everyone. Heck, we're still not 100% sure it's for us! But I think that we should be free to consider it without the comment, judgement or criticism of others. We are trying to decide what's best for our family. That's all. Homeschooling isn't as nightmarish as people make it out to be. Homeschoolers aren't the disfunctional, anti-social crybabies that people make them out to be. If we chose to send the girls to our public school, you can be sure that we will be right there every step of the way...helping, volunteering, supplementing...doing everything we can to ensure that the girls have the necessary tools to be successful....just as we would if they are educated at home.

I look forward to the day when we make our final decision and move forward. I am not, however, looking forward to telling our family & friends. Many of them already know we are considering the homeschool option, so I doubt that it will be a great shock to them. But I also hope & pray that they can just ask us questions...not judge, not lecture, not condescend...and then listen to our answers...not assume, not ridicule and not debate...and support our efforts. We want only the best for our girls, and we're considering all the options available to us. Believe it or not, public and private schools are not the only options.

T.M.I.

I've explained in previous entries how anal retentive I am when it comes to our finances. I don't just track how much comes in and how much goes out, but I track exactly where it goes. Take groceries as an example. Every week, I review my receipts to determine how much was spent on dairy, meat, junk food, etc. That amount accumulates (via my spreadsheet), so that at the end of the month, I can tell exactly how much we spent in each category.

You may be asking yourself....WHY?!?!

Before implementing this routine, I tracked just the total amount we spent on groceries. And quite honestly, I got tired of asking myself every month, "How in the world did we spend THAT much money on food?!" I answered that nagging question with my new routine, and it's been smooth sailing ever since. I can tell you exactly how much I spent last month on meat or soda or produce. It really does make a difference in our budget, but I've noticed that it's time to implement the same practice with household items...those pesky little things like paper towels, cleaners, batteries, etc.

Again, I hear you asking....WHY?!?!?!

Boy, that junk really eats away at our income! I feel like changes need to be made, but I need to confirm it through this weekly review. Before I started the weekly grocery review, I thought I could determine where we spent the most money, but after a short period of time, I realized that I was dead wrong. So I need this weekly review in writing to confirm or disprove what I'm thinking...which will in turn change my shopping habits. I cannot avoid buying things like laundry detergent or toilet paper, but if I'm buying it every month, maybe I would be better off buying the next larger size or in bulk. You really have to pay attention! The bigger option is not always the best value.

And still, I hear you asking....WHY IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?!?!

Is this "too much information"? Am I that much of a geek that I need to have all these numbers and stats in front of me to be at ease about my finances? Yes and no. I am a numbers geek, so I really dig this kind of analysis, but I don't do this just because I need a fix. I don't like the unknown, and control is really the issue here. Either my money is going to control me, or I'm going to control it. By closely monitoring our spending throughout the money, we are keeping tighter reign on our money; therefore, we are keeping more of our money in the end.

Aren't you tired of asking yourself where in the hell your money goes every month and not having a good answer? I got fed up, so I did something about it. If you find yourself in the same situation, then do something about it! Don't just ignore the question; take charge. Master your money or it will master you. That's the way it goes, and this kind of detailed, weekly review of our spending is how we keep the "beast" in line. This practice doesn't prevent us from slipping up, but it does help us to be accountible and to behave well.

Master your money - do what is necessary to keep as much of your money in your pocket for as long as you're able. I promise you will not regret that practice!