Justification

I don't know why, but lately I've felt it necessary to justify why hubby is still unemployed. Honestly, I don't think we need to justify ourselves to anyone, but during a conversation about the situation, someone will eventually ask questions like...

"Has he applied at ________?"
"Is he qualified to do anything besides computer work?"
"Would he consider temporary work?"

...and so on. None of these questions are asked in a snotty way or are derogatory in nature; however, there is a filter in my brain that translates all of those questions into, "Why the hell doesn't he get off his duff and get a job?"

I don't fault anybody for asking those questions, so if you're one of those people who have, please don't worry. I'm not mad at your anything. Your questions are meant as encouragement and support; I understand that. But because we both are asking ourselves why he doesn't have a job yet, your question hits a sore spot. It's kind of like having a sunburn on your back, and someone slaps you on the back. An already sore spot is made to feel even more painful.

True, some people take advantage of unemployment benefits and do nothing but catch up on their soap operas. Let me assure you. My hubby is not doing that. He spends the majority of his time looking for a new job, but another large chunk of time is spent studying for a professional certification exam. He's also worked on several computers for various people to bring in a little extra cash. When he's not doing that, he volunteers his time to help family, friends and at church. He also helps me out a little more than he was able to before either with the kids or around the house. So he definitely has stayed busy.

Does he always stay motivated and moving? Nope. The holidays were particularly difficult because there were no new job postings to follow up on, and our schedule was pretty hectic. Does he spend every waking minute the way I think he should. Absolutely not. But that's the beauty of he & I...we're two distinct individuals. Maybe he doesn't spend his time or conduct his job search in the exact same way that I would, but he doesn't waste much time. That's the important characteristic.

Neither one of us wants this period of unemployment to linger. We're definitely ready for this to end. I think some judge us for staying on unemployment for so long. And to that I say, he & I have both been working and paying taxes since we were 13 years old. In 25 years, this is the first time we've had to rely on public assistance of any kind. I think those stats are pretty darn good! Nevertheless, we are ready for this to be over.

If you've ever lost a job, you know that taking "just anything" is not a good idea. If you take any full-time job, it severely limits your ability to land a decent job that restores you back to normal. For hubby, that would be true plus it would be nearly impossible for him to study for his certification exam, which would benefit our family in the long run. That's why he hasn't taken just anything up to this point.

However, we have reached the threshold where he does have to consider and apply for jobs outside his field. That translates into wages that are much, much less than what he made before. And the other bad news? A lot of those employers won't even consider him for that low-paying job because he's overqualified. He's also not qualified for some of the jobs available right now, so he's stuck in a bad position. Likewise, I've started looking for additional work, and I'm hitting the same walls. I'm not qualified to do the kind of work I did before quitting my full-time job, but I'm considered overqualified for a low-paying job. N-I-C-E!

So to answer the question of "why is he still unemployed", here is the short answer. The job market seriously sucks!!!!! If you know of someone who is unemployed, you may want to ask questions in an attempt to be encouraging and supportive. Be aware, though, that the unemployed person is probably hurting and worried and scared...and is probably asking themselves the same questions.

On the Road to Healthy

I've neglected myself physically over the last seven or eight years. I'm not exactly sure why. I've set many goals over the years to turn this freight train around, but I've not had a lot of luck on the road to fruition. Actually, luck has nothing to do with it. I've not been successful over the years probably because of the same reason that I started neglecting myself in the first place...laziness...plain & simple.

This will not be an easy or short process. I am NOT looking forward to the withdrawls, frustration, fatigue or any other negative physical symptoms I will temporarily experience, but I am looking forward to the end result. I know my quality of life will only benefit from the changes I need to make. My hubby and my kids will benefit. Everything in my life will benefit. Everything.

Have you ever stopped to realize how poor physical health can be tied to poor financial health? I'm referring to overall poor health - not poor health due to serious illness or surgery or anything like that. I'm referring to the numerous cups of coffee I have to drink in the morning to rev up my engine. I'm referring to the aches & pains I feel after sitting or exercising too much. I'm referring to that general overall feeling of "ICK" every single day...not to mention the "ICK" I feel emotionally whenever I go clothes shopping!!

Believe it or not, a lazy lifestyle causes me to overspend in a number of areas. I've heard lots of people complain how healthy food is more expensive than junk food. Yes, some junk food items that are cheaper. Overall though? Healthy food is most definitely the logical choice if you are trying to watch both your physical bottom line and your financial bottom line. Which is cheaper? A medium sized .50 cent apple that helps me feel full for several hours or the $1.05 cupcakes that leave me feeling hungry again in an hour?

Same thing for the amount of sleep I get...or rather don't get. If I am well-rested, I wouldn't need as much caffeine, which means less spending on coffee (regular or fancy) and/or soda. What if I started drinking tea or water instead? Do you think my grocery expenses might start to fall a little?

This isn't just a grocery shopping problem though. Many...too many...people eat outside the home far too often. Restaurant meals impact waistline and bank account equally - no question.

This is about much more than losing weight though. I want to be more effective as a wife, mother, friend, employee, etc. I want to be a more effective Christian by having more energy to serve God and others on top of all the other things I must get done every day. I want to feel better about myself and be able to unbox the tons of clothes currently in storage. I want to live a longer, stronger, healthier life with my family. And if my finances improve as a result, then all the better!

Our society, in general, indulges in far too many bad habits that negatively affect our budgets. Food and eating habits are just two examples. I could list smoking, drug/alcohol use, gambling, etc. If you complain about how little money you have, maybe the first thing you should do is examine your bad habits and exactly how much those bad habits are costing you. Our bad habits...my husband's and mine...are deeply affecting our budget. And at a time when our income level has never been lower, that's obviously not a good things. We have to make the necessary changes now in order for our financial health to remain healthy over the long run...for many reasons.

In the end, I will be a better me, and you will be a better you. And if you have children, you will pass to them a living, breathing example of how to make a life better. Let's be honest. Kids learn what they live, and I'm not okay with what my kids are learning from me right now.