The Joys of Frugality

A few months ago, I had a very enjoyable hobby...bargain hunting. "Retail is for suckers," I say. I have found hundreds of good deals over the years on clothes, toys, food, etc. I got a rush from finding the ultimate bargain. I have no problem sorting through clearance racks, scouting thrift and consignment stores, scouring garage sale piles, etc. I have saved my family a ton of money by doing this. Keep in mind, I don't buy just anything; I buy quality. I've found lots of near new clothes for myself, hubby and the girls; I've found lots of toys and books for my girls that have been gently loved. I've stocked up on staples at the grocery store with combinations of in-store discounts and coupons. I'm not nearly as good at bargain hunting as some people I know, but I'm pretty darn good. It became a hobby for me. It was fun.

Now...not so much. A few months ago, my family wasn't living high on the hog by any means. Hubby's salary was good but not huge. My part-time income is enough to cover our mortgage, but that's it. Everything else came out of his paycheck, and now that's gone. He is collecting unemployment, but that is half of what he was getting paid before. Ouch.

A few months ago, we had a little wiggle room in our budget. Now, definitely not. Frugality isn't a hobby anymore; it isn't fun. It's a matter of survival. And I find it hard to enjoy those finds that previously would make me giddy because even when I do find that bargain, I have to question whether or not we really need the item. I didn't have to do that before; a bargain was a bargain.

I've passed up a lot of good deals lately because I didn't want to spend the money if not absolutely necessary. It totally breaks my heart to do that, but I've got no choice. Bargain hunting has become a chore. Ugh.

Moreover, I find that I'm looking for ways to delay expenses. Ray is 3 1/2 and is not yet potty trained at bedtime, so she still uses pull-ups. Jordi is still in diapers. Before doing the weekly shopping this morning, I counted how many of each I have on hand and asked myself whether we could go another week without buying more. I determined we could. Am I going to far? To purchase those two items together would cost about $30. When your income is as small as ours is right now, that is a chunk of money. If I can delay the expense, it could mean all the difference. I also inventoried my personal hygiene stash before shopping and determined that I didn't need to purchase toothpaste or conditioner. Don't worry; I'm not doing without! :) I have a ton of those little tubes of toothpaste that you get from the dentist usually used for travel. Since there is a moratorium on travel, I might as well use up all that toothpaste, right? And as far as conditioner, I can mix what I have with a little water to make it last longer.

I know, I know. These practices might shock or surprise you and make you think that we're totally destitute. Let me assure you; we're not. My mind works a little differently than most, and in hard times, my mind has twisted even more. If we don't need something right now, we don't need it. Period. Occasionally I'll stock up on grocery items if the discount is steep enough, but I'm breaking myself of that habit because all the little discounted items add up to one large deduction from our bank account...something we cannot afford right now.

I don't mind delaying expenditures or cutting back on the bargain hunting for a short time. If it helps my family live without fear, then I'll do whatever I need to do. But because our situation isn't showing signs of changing any time soon, I'm concerned that these current practices will eventually drain me emotionally. The first week of hubby's unemployment, wandering the isles of a local hardware store, in search of an inexpensive shower curtain rod, brought me to tears. The weekly grocery shopping was also very hard for me...more tears. At that time, it didn't matter that these were things we absolutely needed; I didn't want to spend the money. Sounds silly, I know. I've since moved past that to survival mode, which includes doing everything in my power to keep expenses down. Since I'm the household manager, that means watching every penny. Unfortunately, it also includes "counseling" hubby on his spending too. :) (BTW, he's pretty good at not spending money when it's not warranted.)

When we knew how much unemployment he would collect, I quickly recalculated our budget to make sure we could survive and determined that we could. It would be tight and a little scary, but we could do it.

Then the first month came and went. As I updated our budget, I realized that we had done horribly in our spending. We spent on things that were unexpected, and we spent on things that we really didn't need. I was so frustrated with myself and hubby. "If we're not careful, we're going to be in big trouble." That was the thought that kept circling around in my brain. Then I looked at the bottom line of our budget worksheet, which shows me the difference income & expenses. It was a positive number! What?! That happened again in October as well, and I imagine that November will be more of the same. (Although we've really tightened it up lately.)

How do I explain the positive number when in reality it should've been negative? You may not like my answer, but I hope you do.

Answer: God

He's been taking care of and providing for us the entire time. I won't get into the how & why right now (maybe in a future post), but I am fully confident in the fact that God is the ultimate manager of our home. He makes the dollars stretch and the "things" last longer...beyond any logic. Trust me, I'm a skeptical and logical thinker. I don't naturally approach things from faith in things unseen. But God meets me where I'm at, and through my very detailed analysis of our financial health, I see God's fingerprints. Nothing else makes sense. You might call it luck or coincidence, but don't those two imply randomness and irregularity? After all, nobody has our kind of "good luck" for years. God has blessed and provided for us (beyond logic) for years...month after month. Even now in hard times, He continues to provide in a way that makes us smile, shake our heads in amazement and continually pray prayers of thanks and gratitude.

As the Christmas season approaches, I felt a strong urge to be a blessing to others because God has blessed us. Granted, we can't bless in a big way, but I'm not sure the amount is what matters. We agreed that this is something we want to continue as an annual family tradition, so we created a plan with that in mind. Beginning this year, we plan to make a donation to an organization that focuses on children, send a care package to a deployed military person and bless a missionary. This year, we're sending a shoebox full of toys & treats for an under privileged child through Operation Christmas Child. (I had fun shopping for that this morning!) We also plan to send a care package to the son-in-law of an acquaintance. This young man is in the Marines and currently in Iraq. Because hubby is a Marine and because we know the young man's family, we felt he was the right person this year. We also know a young couple who serve as missionaries in SE Asia. They are serving in a country that would deport or imprison them if the government knew they were Christian missionaries, and yet they serve boldly and bravely. They have a young child, and I've gotten to know them better through email over the past year as we exchange stories and encouragement. I also enjoyed meeting them face-to-face this year when they were home for a visit. Who better to bless than someone I care for very much and is doing God's work in a scary place?

Yup, no doubt about it. God gives us everything we need and then some. Our job is to manage those gifts in the best way we can. Do we make mistakes? Sure! But we do our best, and we pray constantly for wisdom about the future. Is it scary to believe that God will provide for us in the future....especially when hubby's job leads are few and far between? My skeptical brain says yes. Sometimes I'm scared to death! But all I have to do is reflect on how God has provided in the past....beyond all logic. And then I have no doubts.

Question: How do you view your money, house, cars, assets...THINGS? Are they stuff you've worked your butt off for or are they blessings for which you are grateful? Here's something to remember. Years ago, a reporter asked J.D. Rockefeller how much Rockefeller would leave behind when he died. His response? EVERYTHING!