Action Vs. Words

"I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts. " -- John Locke

"Well done is better than well said." -- Benjamin Franklin

"After all is said and done, a lot more will have been said than done." -- Author Unknown

"We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action." -- Frank Tibolt

"Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned." -- Peter Marshall

"Ironically, making a statement with words is the least effective method." -- Grey Livingston

"As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do." -- Andrew Carnegie

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I've heard it said that a total stranger could determine your true priorities by looking at how you spend two things - your time and your money. I've also heard that you can determine your true priorities by doing two things. Create a list of your top "every day" priorities. I'm not referring to a "bucket list"...things that you'd like to do before you die. I'm referring here to a list of every day activities and values that are vitally important to you....for example, spending more time with family, keeping the house cleaner, getting fit. Then for the next week, log exactly how you spend your time. Most likely, those two lists will not match.

Does it have to be that way? I don't think so!

I try hard not to make resolutions, and I fail every year. And then I fail at fulfilling those resolutions. What a discouraging cycle I've gotten into! So this year, I'm embracing my true self, and I refuse to refuse to make New Year's Resolutions. :)

However I am approaching 2010 with a realistic attitude. I obviously have a bad track record in terms of fulfilling resolutions, so I don't expect the unrealistic next year. Instead I've decided to narrow my focus to three areas. After all if the list is smaller, I just might be able to pull it off this year...right? :)

To start, I have to make a list of the things that are most important....the three most important relationships...God, husband, children...in that order. Quite frankly, all three of these relationships have been suffering under the chaos of my life. So to pinpoint my final resolutions, I have to examine the root causes of my problems.

Although I would categorize my relationship with God as stronger now than in the beginning of 2009, it could be stronger still. Since mid-summer, I've sporadically managed to squeeze in daily Bible reading, study & prayer. When I do it often, I can feel a positive difference in my attitude, patience and relationships. When I don't do it, I can feel a negative difference in the same areas.

Resolution #1
Daily for Bible reading/study & prayer

The relationship with my hubby and my children has suffered primarily because of one reason: fatigue. I have a hard time falling asleep, which leads to late nights and early mornings. That's not a great recipe for energy! Fatigue causes me to have a shorter fuse, to laziness because I don't want to tackle my TO DO list, to feel overwhelmed because things aren't getting done, to feeling guilty about what I'm not doing with my kids because I'm busy trying to catch up on other tasks, to feeling guilty for not spending time with hubby or feeling as though he is demanding too much of my attention....to sleepless nights.....

WHEW! Do you see the problem here? Fatigue is creating a very negative cycle for me. I don't suggest that a good night's sleep will cure all that ails me, but it is most definitely a small step that could result in a very large payoff. However, lack of sleep is only one reason why I'm tired all the time. I'm overweight. I would love to get back to the weight I was in my mid-twenties - about 50 pounds lighter than I am now - but I'm not sure that's realistic given my family's schedule. I'm not fooling myself into thinking that I can lose all of that weight in one year. In fact, I would be thrilled with losing twenty pounds, so that is the initial goal.

Resolution #2:
Fight Fatigue - more sleep & more exercise

There are many other reasons why my relationships have suffered in the last year, but trying to make a resolution for each of those reasons would make my list as long as I am tall! So my third and final resolution is not another action necessarily but rather a person...my hubby. Since we've had kids, he has taken the backseat. It's just a cruel reality of a mother with two young children. I know I'm not alone in this. I've heard it from other moms time and time again. Awhile ago, we decided to have date nights two times a month. We're lucky if we get one date night a month. We also decided to have a weekly family meeting to stay on the same page. I can't remember the last meeting. We do make time nearly every night to pray together, but this can also fall by the wayside if we're not motivated. This is the year of making my marriage a true priority.

Resolution #3:
Focus on my husband

Here's the tricky part. I do not want my resolutions to be just a list of words...a list of good intentions and plans. I want this to result in real change next year. It will take action and a lot of it. It will take a lot of hard work, hard changes and hard sacrifices. It will take a lot more effort than I even have right now! But in 2010, I have resolved to make my "what I want" list to match "what I do" list. Not only are actions more powerful than words, but actions are also a clear indication of my heart and my values. That's the kind of change I want for myself, the kind of change I want to model for my girls and the kind of change I wish to show off to the world.

"Remember people will judge you by your actions not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg." -- Author Unknown