Taming the Beast

Hubby & I began walking the path of financial stability about seven years ago. He was on the verge of bankruptcy; I had a chunk of debt myself. We were planning to be married and really wanted kids. From the very beginning of our relationship, he & I both were of the opinion that one parent should stay home to raise the babies. Seven years ago, we knew that wasn't realistic until we decided to make a change.

He talked with an attorney about filing bankruptcy but soon realized that wasn't what he should do. I'm certainly sympathetic to those who have filed bankruptcy, so we don't think we sit in judgement. But we knew that it wasn't right for us, so we began the very difficult process of negotiating settlements and finding the money to pay off everything we could. Even though we settled a few of the debts, we still had to find thousands of dollars to pay them off. That wasn't easy!

Shortly after this process began, we found Dave Ramsey on the radio, and very quickly we were hooked. Listening to him talk about the very things we wanted for our future encouraged us to work even harder to get rid of this black cloud that was hanging over us. The goal: be rid of the debt before we had kids, so that I wouldn't have to return to work after maternity leave.

It didn't work out that way.

Ray came along, and I found myself in the very difficult position of having to return to work. I had no options, and I was very emotional. God blessed us with an AWESOME daycare provider, who loved Ray almost as much as we did. I did not worry about her well-being while I was at work, which was huge in itself, but I missed her dearly. The highlight of my day was walking into the daycare and seeing her little face light up and her little squeals of delight when she saw me. At the same time, it broke my heart. As much as I loved how that child greeted me, it broke my heart because she responded that way after not seeing me for so long. I often wondered whether she thought I would never return and then was so delighted when I did. The time that she was in daycare was good not only for her but for me. The gal who watched her was such an encouragement to me. A seasoned mother, grandmother and childcare worker, she clued me into a lot of things that I might have had to learn the hard way.

After about 3 1/2 years, we finished the debt-payoff part of our financial plan. We paid of $65K in total, and the Monday after paying off our truck, I gave my notice at work. I got to live the dream and be at home for my family, which quickly expanded by one more child when Jordi was born the following year.

Neat story, huh?

I'm so grateful that God blessed our journey and brought us to the point where we can now be an encouragement to others. Our story has caused many to take a hard look at their own finances, and some have even begun down the same path we took, which is awesome. I'm their biggest cheerleader!

Here's the catch.

Some people look at our situation and romanticize what we went through. In other words, I think they see the joy on our face and in our story and think that it was an easy process for us. It most certainly was not.

We can talk positively about our history because we're out of it, but if you would've talked to us during the process...specifically at the beginning of the process...you would've found that we were worried, overwhelmed and frustrated. Hubby & I cannot express in words how difficult and scary it was in the beginning for us, so before one starts on this path, they are just ready to go...they're all in. Then reality hits, and they realize exactly how hard it's going to be. They look at our smiles and think, "I'm never going to be able to do this!! I'm not like them. Those people are freaks, or they inherited some money or something. This is impossible!"

When I started writing this entry, my intention was to assign debt to the role of "beast". As I write, I realize that the beast that needs to be tamed is our attitude. In the beginning, we were scared, overwhelmed and angry. That last emotion is important; don't miss it! We were angry not just at ourselves for making bad choices, but we were angry at the debt itself because it was a physical manifestation of our stupidity. It was a constant reminder that we screwed up. That anger is what caused us to knock out debt after debt until the end. That anger is what caused us to get back on track when we found ourselves far off the path. That anger is what eventually transported us onto the path of joy...even before the debt was totally gone!

Attitude is the key to the process of reclaiming your financial future. If you allow yourself to become overwhelmed and discouraged, you will then allow yourself to make excuses for why it can't be done...so why bother? And then you continue down the path of accumulating more debt and worsening your financial situation. That doesn't make sense to me!

Over the past few years, we're often asked how exactly we did it, and often times I feel expected to give this long-winded, philosophical answer that will make light bulbs burst over and over again above their head. They look at me with such anticipation that I feel pressure! :) The next few seconds are hard for me because I know exactly how they'll respond to my answer...and it's usually not good. My answer? We lived on less than we made.

Simple. Period. No magic pill!

We got where we're at now with a lot of blood, sweat, tears, long hours, no fun, tons of sacrifice, etc. The years we spent paying off debt really sucked! We had to make sacrifice after sacrifice after sacrifice to get to the point where we're at now. We had watch and long for the same brand-new shiny things that others around us were buying. We didn't go on vacations or out to dinner much. We said "no" to lots of fun things because it didn't fit into our long-term plan. It was one of the hardest things I think both of us have ever done.

Most of us have been pre-programmed with the desire to want the good without the bad. We realized very early on that isn't realistic. We had to trudge through a lot of crap in order to get to the other side and slide to the finish line...laughing. If you're in this kind of a situation, let me be the first to encourage you to watch your attitude. Tame it, as a matter of fact. If you find yourself discouraged or overwhelmed, pray! God doesn't want you to be buried under debt, and if you take a step of faith to get rid of it, He will bless you...but pray for His help! We never would've accomplished what we did without Him.

As a matter of fact, this journey for us has been much more than a financial journey; it's been a spiritual one. God has shown Himself to us; He has shown us His generosity and mercy. He has blessed us with peace and even...when the moment warranted it...the right attitude. What I've realized this week is that the principles we implemented years ago are helping us in a HUGE way now.

If the debt were still around, I never would've quit work to be at home with my precious girls, and hubby's unemployment would be a constant fear for us. Instead, we're concerned but at peace knowing that we will not starve and that God will provide. If the debt were still around, we never would've put away money for a rainy day...hmmm. And by the way, if you're in doubt of God's blessings in our lives....hubby has been unemployed for 2 1/2 months, and we've not touched our emergency fund yet. Hmmmm. ;)

If we didn't implement certain principles back then...like delaying gratification now for satisfaction later...the transition from two full-time incomes to one would've been very, very difficult for us, and we would be struggling now that we're down to even less than hubby's income.

Taming your attitude is DIFFICULT WORK....so much so that most give up before they ever start. Taming my own attitude is still a process for me; I'm far from perfect! But do not be discouraged! If you want to prepare yourself for something so much better, then you have to get through the hard part in order to slide across the finish line. It just has to happen that way...and....you'll never be the same! :)

Question: What does your financial future look like? What if something catastrophic happens...will you be at least somewhat prepared?