Waste, Hindsight & Regret

With most of America afflicted (to one degree or another) with the give-me-what-I-want-when-I-want-it mentality, I think I can safely say that we waste a lot. We waste our money. We waste our time. We waste our health. We waste our relationships. We waste our opportunities. And when a crisis hits, one may be tempted to bemoan anything and everything that happened before the crisis. Hubby & I are no different.

When he lost his job, we both immediately realized how much money we wasted over the last couple years. By some standards, we don't waste very much at all. We don't have a big house, new cars, lots of toys or anything like that. But by our own admission, we know that we should have been more responsible with our money in the past than we actually were. If we hadn't done this or if we hadn't bought that we would have more money in our emergency fund. Before the crisis, we were confident in the amount of money we saved. Now that we're knee deep in it, I can't help but think, "Is that all we have?!"

We've also wasted a lot of time. Hubby works in the computer field where technical certifications are highly valued. Unfortunately for us, he has not finished all the testing required nor has he been diligent about studying in the last couple years. Now that he's looking for work in a competitive job market, he wishes that he'd spent less time napping :) and more time studying. Not only that but he's under a lot more pressure to finish this testing. One of my greatest concerns is that I will have to re-enter the workforce and leave my children behind. I've been at home with them for 2 1/2 years, and I always hoped that I could continue on this path at least until they start school. I'll admit; being a stay-at-home mom is not nearly as easy or uncomplicated as I once thought. And since I don't have a boss to report to, my time management skills have been lax. I haven't spent nearly as much "quality time" with my girls as I planned. If I have to go back to work, I will look back on this time with happy moments and a lot of regret. How many hours did we waste watching television? How many hours did we waste doing not much of anything instead of doing the things we should have?

We've also wasted opportunities to connect, grow and mature...not only with each other but also with God, with the girls and with others. How many times in the past have we been handed an opportunity to serve someone else or to comfort someone else, and we've been too wrapped up in our own lives. We have so many people in our lives who are diligently praying for us (and you know who you are), but I honestly have to wonder how many times I've wasted the opportunity to do the same for someone else in the middle of their crisis? A few people have also given us things (which is really, really appreciated) out of the goodness of their hearts and totally unsolicited by us. But how many times have we been given that same opportunity and didn't take it?

I think most people refer to "hindsight" and "consequences" in a negative way. But neither is really a negative concept. In fact, I looked both up on dictionary.com.

Hindsight is defined as the recognition of the realities, possibilities or requirements of a situation, event, decision , etc., after its occurrence.

Consequence is defined as the effect, result or outcome of something occurring earlier.

To some degree, hubby & I are now reaping (and will continue to reap) the consequences of our wasteful lifestyle. How can we move forward and still maintain a positive outlook on our lives? Hindsight!

Hindsight can be a very powerful ally when you're in a crisis but only if you know how to harness its power. Hindsight can reveal blessings you took for granted. For example, our family and friends have been very, very supportive and encouraging. They were before the crisis too, but I'll be the first to admit that I've taken that support and encouragement for granted. But now I can look for those opportunities to pay it forward, so to speak. And because we took the financial steps we did in the past, we have a safety net to help us through this time. I took that for granted before, but now I thank God every day for blessing our efforts to clean up our finances and prepare for hard times. With the income stream turned off, I have to do my best to find even more creative ways to live on less. When the stream is restored, I can continue to walk down that frugal path in order to save even more money.

Of course, hindsight can also reveal the waste in your life, which will almost always lead to regret. Regret is useful only if actions are taken to stop past waste from becoming future waste. Wallowing in regret is not useful or productive, and it will not change anything about our circumstances. What will change our circumstance (and our attitude) ? Realizing that the waste needs to stop and then take action to stop it. If I continue to live wastefully, I will only add to that big ol' pile of regret. I may not feel the burden of that regret until later, but I will feel it. Deep, long-lasting regret will only lead to depression, and that isn't healthy either.

Hubby and I regret the things we've done in the past, and we're actively building a family plan that will enable us to stop the waste in it's tracks. Some changes will be harder for us than others. Some changes will not happen overnight. But we are determined to begin walking down the path of long needed change. And in the back of my mind, I can't help but wonder if God allowed this crisis as a means of kicking us in the butt to get us moving.

Question: If there is waste in your life (money, time, relationships, health, opportunities, etc.), ask yourself these questions. What is wasteful in my life, and what prevents me from stopping that waste? What will it take to stop? Is a crisis necessary for me to make changes or can I make changes before a crisis hits? If you are in the middle of a crisis, are you wallowing in the regret or are you actively making changes in your life to prevent past waste from becoming future waste?

"Waste not, want not." I don't think that phrase refers just to material things.