This is me...take it or leave it

After my last soapbox entry, it occurred to me that many will still be offended even though that wasn't my intent. I can be a little more frank than people like, which is okay. This is just me; take it or leave it. I am very opinionated, which I don't apologize for. "You gotta stand for something or you'll fall for anything." That's my motto. I don't always follow conventional (aka popular) thinking. I hold opinions based on my experiences, my faith, my own brand of wisdom and my own form of logic. If you don't agree with me, terrific! I don't expect everyone to conform to the way I think.

I try to be as authentic as possible. You know where you stand with me, in other words. I don't try to be someone I'm not. I don't try to elevate myself above others. I don't try to make people think my life is perfect. I don't assume that I know everything (although sometimes it sounds like I do - ha), and I don't try to pretend that I have all the answers. Don't get me wrong, I don't air my dirty laundry to just anyone; there is something to be said about discretion. My life is far from perfect, and it is not quite where I would like it to be. But I'm not going to waste time making people think that it is. And I'm not going to keep my true feelings hidden beneath an exterior that is what I think other people really want to see. And with regard to staying at home or working after children, I think everyone should consider the former.

One of my biggest pet peeves is not meaning what you say to others. When I prepared to quit full-time work, I heard a lot of lip service paid to being a SAHM. Many told me, "I'd love to be at home, but we just can't afford it." I always assumed they were telling the truth, so every time, I would respond, "Why not look into making the switch?" Then the truth came out, and the real reasons for not staying at home were revealed. That irked me. If you have a list of excuses a mile long for not staying at home, then don't say that you would love to be at home...cuz that's not true. Just be honest! I especially appreciated the honesty of a few women who said, "I couldn't stand to be around my kid all day long." Or, "I can't let my degree go to wasted." Or, "I want my kid to have all the extras that I didn't have." Even though I didn't agree with their reason, I appreciated their honesty. It took guts to be that honest!

So if you responded with anger from reading my last post, why not try to respond with honesty about why you don't want to be at home w/your children. As I mentioned before, the decision work or not is personal for every family. We came to our decision because of values, experiences and expectations. What fits for our family may not fit for any other. If you're not willing to sacrifice your career or lifestyle to be at home with your kids, then please just be honest about it! Don't apologize for it. This life is too short to impress, please or cow-tow to other people's opinion of you.

My persuasive argument is this. If you would truly rather be at home with your children, then you do whatever it takes to make that happen. Whatever it takes.